Cancelling Plans

Cancel Plans
Cancel Plans

I think my middle name is officially going to change to “Party Pooper”! I seem to cancel last minute on most of the events that I commit to. I’m sure anyone with chronic pain/ diseases understands this part. It is a hard topic though. Because explaining yourself to people every time you cancel never gets easy. The guilt! Oh! the guilt! And sometimes, just the wish that you could make it to your dates/ events/ commitments without much thought.

But it’s not that simple. The thing is, I always plan to attend when I make the arrangement, but every day is different. A surprise even! LOL😊 I never know how the pain will be that day until it comes. So, despite the sincere desire to show up, sometimes I simply can’t. And this is hard for people to understand, because they think, “why not just take painkillers, or try harder!?”.

Here’s the thing, when you have chronic pain/ diseases, you are on painkillers every day! And that is just to dial down the pain, then you spend the day bearing the rest of the pain. It never really goes. Even on days when you see us energetic and smiling, we are in pain! Hence, when we say we can’t show up, it means that even high doses of painkillers are not working on that day. And if they eventually dial down the pain, there is an overwhelming fatigue that follows the pain. The bottom line is, it’s an extremely long day that requires all our energy and there is no energy left to even hold a conversation, which makes social situations quite impossible.

What I would like people with ‘normal’ days to understand is that when we say we can’t make it, be more understanding, even if it does not make sense to you, give us benefit of doubt. We are not just refusing to show up, we really, physically can’t. And we do not enjoy missing out on stuff. We envy that you can experience life the way you do!

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