I can’t say that there are days without pain. A normal day ‘without pain’ for me is pain levels of around 4. Those are good days, or should I say, days when faking ‘normal’ is easier. Bad pain days are unbearable! I cannot master even half a smile. I take three different oral painkillers plus two shots at the hospital, then I spend most of my day on the couch. On such days, my husband is my rock. He takes care of me in a way that cannot be described with words.
Well, despite high pain, I am still a mother. I have two daughters. So, there are things that I must still do. For example, cooking, dishes, talking to them (yes, talking is also energy consuming!) etc. I have learned to go easy on myself and admit that I can’t do everything every day. Therefore, I avoid spending energy on things that can be accomplished in other ways. For example, instead of cooking, my husband takes my children out to eat. That eliminates cooking and having an excessive number of dishes to wash. I also have help cleaning the house. A lady comes twice a week to help me with that. These measures allow me to give my children attention and ensure that their days are not robbed by my pain.
When they were younger, they did not notice anything. But they are growing older now and they can see that I am in pain a lot of the time. Especially the older one. Lately, I can see a sadness in her when I’m having a bad pain day.